When telling someone for the first time that I am a cancer survivor, inevitably, that person has a story (or two or three) about such-and-such, who had such-and-such cancer and the trials they had, and trouble they faced. And, just as inevitably, the story ends with that person being dead. I used to resent the people who told me these stories. Stories that definitely struck a cord in me and set my fears a raging. But, I have come to realize, these stories are not meant to bring me harm, instead, the story is a way of reaching out to me, trying to empathize. I appreciate their efforts and let the bad feelings go. . . like water off a duck's back.
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I do believe you are right Lisa...they are trying to empathize.
ReplyDeleteLove your duck pic!
I agree with Jeanne..people are trying to empathize. You attitude is a good one to let things slide off your back..just like the cute ducks you have pictured!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's hard to get it right the first time and in person. So much easier from behind the laptop or camera. Thanks for sharing your point of view. You are a great teacher.
ReplyDeletei'm sure you're right. it's the persons way of connecting with you and trying to understand what you're going through. but, during a time like this i'm sure it's terrifying to hear those words. i'm glad you've chosen to have it roll of your back like the ducks- which is a great pic, btw.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh..people do that don't they? I get stories too from people and they don't ever have happy endings... I have asked myself why people do this...and I think you're right, people are trying to reach out. I also think that illness makes people nervous..as..'there but for the grace of God, go I'.... I guess I may have done the same thing... or something equally insensitive without meaning to be so.. Communication...it's tough..but the duck analogy is very good....Michelle
ReplyDeleteI have a really hard time with people like that. I call them "toppers" they just want to top what I've said. But you've made me think, perhaps they are trying to reach out and empathize and it is my own issue with feeling inadequate or feeling like I've not been heard or worse, that they don't GET what I'm saying. Good food for thought, Lisa. xo
ReplyDeleteI imagine it would be hard to take it that way ... but kudos to you for learning to let it roll off your back.
ReplyDeleteI do have a cancer story for you. The only one I know from our family. My Aunt, who is in her late 70s now, along with diabetes and having a pacemaker installed, has had breast cancer -- a double mastectomy. She is a complete firecracker who still gets up and puts on make up every day (she's a better woman than me) and rules her world. She is the epitome of survival and success and keepin' on. When I'm feeling down sometimes I think of her and have to smile and it just gets me moving. You're right to just let the sad stories roll off of you ... like water off a duck's back!
ReplyDeleteI think you've got the right idea. People are trying to offer comfort; no matter how misguided their efforts may be. That said, I don't blame you for feeling defensive. You've got the right idea with water off a duck's back though!
ReplyDeleteOf course... this is a lovely photo. Such a cute little family!
love the photo effect
ReplyDeleteNot to be morbid or unsympathetic, but doesn't every story end with the main character being dead? We all have to go sometime...
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