Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Cancer Sucks!

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My week just has not been going well. You may remember, in August, I shared about a friend of mine being ill. So you don’t have to click back I will share that part of the post:
When my husband changed jobs last year he began working with a man who’s wife has multiple myeloma and for the last year I have been sending her cards and notes. Through our husbands I’ve tracked her progress through two stem-cell transplants. Finally, she was well enough that she gave me a call and we agreed to meet in the middle (Oshkosh) for lunch.

Three weeks ago, I drove an hour away to meet the lady who had been on my mind so much this past year. Upon meeting there was instant comfort, we had an ease of talking you don’t often find with someone. We spent several hours just sitting and talking, and I think I’m safe to say that we both left feeling mighty good inside. She is an absolute wonderful woman! We agreed to meet at least once more before Christmas and I decided to start calling her every week or two. In the mean time, I was scheduled to see the oncologist on Tuesday and she was scheduled to see hers on Wednesday so we set a time to talk after those appointments.

It’s pretty funny, because when we would talk on the phone, we always set up a time to talk in a few days. For awhile she had to see her oncologist every 3 days but she had worked up to going every 10 days and was so happy with that. She got permission to go on vacation and was really looking forward to going this September.

Then she told her oncologist that she had been having a little pain in her hip. He immediately scheduled an MRI and a tumor was found, a rather large tumor, 5-6 inches and it was decided she would start radiation and chemo, once again. I am still having a hard time grasping how she can go to meeting me over an hour’s drive away, to being hospitalized and time ticking, in just a few days.

I haven’t been able to talk to her for the last week, she’s just too weak, but our husbands talk every day or so and her prognosis isn’t good. The doctor’s were talking in weeks, now they are talking in possible months. So that’s a little bit of good news. But in amidst all of this, they have also found a tumor in the motor center of her brain, so for now, that is the tumor being attacked. She’s not strong enough for them to work on the hip tumor and the brain tumor so brain trumps hip.

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Over the last couple of months we have talked many, many times and she has been in and out of the hospital several times, honestly spending more time in than out. She went through chemo a couple more times and she so wanted to be here for as long as possible.

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I am heartbroken. She passed away Sunday, and my brain just does not want to function properly. I know my grief is nothing compared to her family’s. Her husband is so very lost without her; they were together nearly 40 years. Her son and daughter, in their twenties, should not have to be without their mom. Every time she spoke of her husband and children she called them, My 'J' or My 'S' or My 'T', she loved them so much.

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One of my greatest fears was that I would not live long enough to meet my grandchildren. She did not have grandchildren yet. Her children are not yet married, she missed that too. It’s not fair and I want to scream and maybe hit a few things. But instead, this evening, I will going her funeral.

how many will fit?



I know October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and she fought breast cancer and won in 1998. The breast cancer was not what took her and in no way related to the Multiple Myeloma. Please keep her family in your thoughts and prayers. She will be missed by many.

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44 comments:

  1. Oh, Lisa, I am so sorry. I wish I had words that could erase your pain and bring her back. It's so unfair. I am so, so sorry.

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  2. Sorry for your lose.
    Beautiful photos. Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog.

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  3. Lisa, I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better but sometimes words just aren't enough. I am thinking of you and wishing you brighter days ahead. Hugs to you...I am so very sorry you have lost your friend.

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  4. My heart goes out to you and this woman's family. How sad. Your poignant words make me grateful for the day and for the opportunity to read your words and to think hard about life. Thank you, Lisa. Wishing you peace.

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  5. I'm so sorry that your friend past away Lisa. I sent up a few kind words for you and her family.

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  6. I'm so sorry. I've sent a prayer into the universe...

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  7. Lisa I am very sorry for your loss. We'll definitely keep all of you in our prayers. Also, those are beautiful lady bug photos... I especially like the last couple... lady bugs on a beach - who'd of thunk!

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  8. I'm so sorry for your loss. As sad as things turned out - your friend was a lucky woman to have you in her life. Stories like this one really make me appreciate all that I have. Spend some time snuggling with Twister and continue living your life to the fullest. I'm sure that's what your friend would have wanted.

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  9. There really are no words for this, but know I am thinking of you.

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  10. Stephanie C ReinicheOctober 2, 2008 at 1:54 AM

    I am sorry for your loss. I will keep her family in my prayers and you as well as everyone goes through the griefing process. What beautiful photos to symbolize life.

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  11. *sniff* I will be sending all the positive vibrations that way today...

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  12. Friends are forever and you were a very good friend to her. What a wonderful gift to give her in these last few months. Thoughts and prayers to you and everyone affected.

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  13. Very sorry to hear about your friend :(

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  14. I'm so sorry. Get a virtual Bear Hug from down south to comfort you at least a little bit.
    Klaus

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  15. I'm sorry for your loss. perhaps in your grief you can share with her family, in time, what she meant to you.

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  16. Lisa, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Nothing anyone says can make it better, I know that. Just know that you have many, many friends who care about you and will always be here for you. I think cancer has touched the lives of everyone in one way or another...I know it has mine. It does suck. Big time. I just keep praying for a cure...for that any many other nasty, disgusting, rotten diseases!

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  17. My thoughts are with you and your friend. It makes you think about many things, how lucky we are to be here. Thanks for sharing the beauty of your eye and lens.

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  18. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. We just lost my husband's brother in May to cancer. He was my age (38) and left behind three beautiful children. It's such a horrible thing to lose someone to cancer.

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  19. Lisa, thanks for letting us catch a glimpse of this wonderful women. How strange that life brings us the greatest blessings from the most terrible moments. You were a blessing to her in a terrible time and she has blessed your life in return. I pray that you will not be sad for long and that her family will soon be able to find happiness in the memories to replace the sadness they feel now. I imagine that she wants you all to smile when you think of her, once you have grieved well. Life is often so terrible, there is no way around it. It is so unfair. I am thinking of you and remembering you to God who never forgets us.

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  20. Yes - cancer sucks.

    Those are incredible pictures.

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  21. Cancer is a scourge. My grandmother had multiple myeloma and it's a dreadful thing. I feel for you, your family, and her family.
    Thank you for visiting our blog.
    Peace.

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  22. I'm very very sad to hear about your friend. You are right she should be around for all those important things in her kids lives. it's really not fair.

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  23. I am so sorry for your loss. Your photos today are very gentle and beautiful. Be gentle with yourself.

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  24. Lisa,

    I just sent you an email but I am just SO SO SO SO SO terribly sorry. I will keep you and her in my thoughts, heart and prayers my friend.

    Please take care.

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  25. OOHh Iam so very sorry. I watched the Oprah show this am and it was on breast cancer.
    iam so sorry that they are going threw this and you have lost a dear friend. It's so hard to understand. You are all in my thoughts and prayes.
    hugs

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  26. Let me extend my sympathy to you and your friend's family. I'll send up a prayer to bring you comfort and to find a cure for cancer.

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  27. Hi Lisa,

    I came over from Mama Drama and Single Mom Finding Herself. I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your friend. You are in my thoughts.

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  28. I am so sorry, Lisa. This just made me all teary-eyed. Sigh.

    Cancer DOES suck. And it's NOT fair. Somehow, she will get to see those children marry - and see her grandchildren...in a way that is hard to comprehend.

    Hang in there...and blessings to you.

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  29. Usually when I read your blog I see the pictures first...
    This time I did not...even though they are amazing...the title is what got me! Then I read on...I was in tears...my heart goes out to her family! I'm so sorry you lost a friend!!!

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  30. OH Lisa, I am so sorry! My heart was breaking as I was reading your words. I'm so so sorry! Your words and your photos were a beautiful tribute to your friend. Many hugs and prayers coming your way, and I will definitely pray for her family!

    (((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

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  31. I am a new addition to your site. Your personal story that I just read was illustrated beautifully bt the lady bugs.

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  32. Oh, I'm so, so sorry to hear that. Yeah, cancer really sucks BIG. So many wonderful persons pass away from this horrible pest. Yes, I call it pest. We should all donate more money to research for cures, since it's so wide spread. Wonderful words and photos in this post. *sigh*

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  33. anglophilefootballfanatic.comOctober 2, 2008 at 3:16 PM

    Oh, Lisa. I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Your tribute was warm and full of understanding & compassion - I think another survivor certainly can say it best.

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  34. I'm so sorry to hear the sad news Lisa. Hugs and prayers to you and her family.

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  35. My heart goes out to you as I read of your loss. There are no words … but I do know (from personal experience) that grief takes as long as it takes … that your feelings are natural in these circumstances … and that time DOES heal the hurt … pain DOES fade and lovely memories emerge … because those we love don’t ever REALLY leave us completely. Your photo series today is amazing and my prayers are with you … and all those dealing with this loss. A Course in Miracles teaches that LOVE is 'letting go of fear' ... and I know this to be true.
    Hugs and blessings,

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  36. HI Lisa. I am so very sorry for your friend. I will keep her family and friends in my thoughts. Hugs to you.

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  37. Those pictures are spectacular.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Cancer is quite simply, a bitch.
    My prayers are with you and your friend's family.
    There are many who are blogging for cancer this month. So many who are in this fight with you.

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  38. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, Lisa. Life is a terminal condition, but we can't face it that way. We should live each day to the fullest and remember to love and laugh much. We don't know how long we have or how long our loved ones have. Rather than fearing what we might miss, we have to learn to embrace the present. Then, when we lose someone (which is always too soon) the love that we shared with them, the things they taught us, and the memories we made together--a piece of that person--will live on in our hearts. Cancer can't take that away. Nothing can unless we allow it to.

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  39. My best friend's friend died of multiple myleoma last year. I would run into her every now and then, but we'd never clicked. Last year, I found out why. Because I needed to be there for MY friend, when she lost HER friend. I'm sorry to hear about your friend, too. It's a hard way to go.

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  40. i'm so sorry to hear this news. I just returned from my aunt's funeral - she passed away from breast cancer. It happens way too much.

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  41. takes my breath away. breath is so fragile.

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