Monday, May 31, 2010
When I went through chemotherapy I was given a regimen called Folfox for the first few treatments. Since I was having some problems with toxicity my regimen was changed to Folfiri. Chemo was no fun at all, not just side effects from the drugs, but also the mental struggle with putting poisons in my body to kill the cancer cells - Cancer, that thing that happens to other people, not me.
While I was going through the infusion, which lasted 48 hours, I could not live my days in denial of my diagnosis, that IV tubing running to the pump hanging on my side was a huge reality-filled slap in the face. During those days I would often break down and cry, wail at the unfairness and swear that I could not make it through any more of it.
I would get a 2 week break in between infusions, and the first week was spent trying to regain my strength and trying to start eating again. The second week was spent giving myself mental encouragement to go through one more treatment. I would tell myself, ". . .just go through one more treatment, it's ok to stop but get as many as you can, I know 12 treatments is a lot, but you can do it. Come on, do ONE more."
And it worked, I was able to psych myself up one treatment at a time. It was too hard to think in terms of six months of treatment. I had to take it one cycle at a time.
Did you get it? Aren't I lame? FolFOX + FolFIRI = Furry Fox LOL
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