Wait, no, weight!

I have just been so stressed out lately that I haven’t been very chatty. I’m hoping to turn that around. I’m sure part of my mood has to do with our ‘wonderful’ weather that seems to drag out forever. Do you realize that we (Wisconsin) see only white for 5-7 months of the year? Ouch!

So you could say I have felt a lot like this scruffy little bluebird. Aside from the weather, I have family members who have been let go from their jobs, or had to take a pay cut. In fact, my husband had to take a pay cut, and it’s one we will feel. The only good part of that is that we have been saving money on food lately.

January 6th, about 3 weeks ago, we (my husband, daughter and I) signed up for our Community Weight Race. Our team name is ‘Fat Chance’. Now Britney, just had a baby so, of course she has a little to lose. My husband and I have gradually added on pounds over the last 6 years.

Weight is not something I like to talk about and you still won’t see me talking about it constantly, but occasionally I’ll let you know how I’m doing. It’s a big sore spot embarrassment for me. I weighed 125 when I met my husband 7 years ago and when I got diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago I weighed significantly more. Through chemo I would gain and lose and I think that’s pretty normal. After chemo I went back to how I had been before plus a few more pounds and I understand that ‘chubbiness’ is a side effect of the type of chemo I had.

Over the last 2 ½ years since stopping chemo I have wanted to lose, you may remember my anger at my oncologists for not caring more about my weight, but I knew at first I just needed to try to stay healthy and as long as I felt good, I was semi-content. Last year, I decided to try some SlimQuick, I’m sure you’ve seen the commercials for this weight loss pill, and after day two of taking the medicine I felt horrible! I mean really bad, so I stopped taking them (felt discouraged and nursed myself back to health over the next few days) and my family encouraged me again to just be content that I was cancer free and to leave my weight alone.

But, this time I decided to try things a little differently. I don’t think my body can handle any weight loss drugs, so I set out to just try watching what I eat. For me that means counting my calories. I have read that the lowest a woman should go is 1200 calories a day, so I aim for that. My daily average is 1170 calories. How do I know this? Well I have been keeping a calorie journal. I found that there are several online, but I’m using My Calorie Counter. I love it and it helps me a lot!  A lot of foods are already there but you can add in your own as well.  Most chain restaurants have their nutritional information on their website so you can scope it out before you go.  And I just found another great site for nutritional information.

I have found I love salad and I don’t mind the fat free dressing, I can dip my fork in the dressing then stab some salad and cut even more calories without sacrificing the taste. We still have our pizza day on Sundays, we just eat less of it. McDonald’s Bacon Ranch Salad with grilled chicken is to die for! Just substitute half of a packet of Tangy Honey Mustard for the Ranch Dressing. I haven’t really had any cravings, not even chocolate. But I do still allow myself a couple of tall Mocha Frappaccinos (no whip – 200 calories) a week, much better than my 11-15 grande fraps I was having.

Oh! I almost forgot, I drink water now. I never drank water before and now I am up to drinking 8-9 glasses a day, the first week I just tried to get 2-3 a day down, that was plenty, but now I actually don’t mind it. Of course, I’ve added in exercise and know that as I lose it will be easier to do more. I’ve only made one bad choice, which I wrote about but never published, so I’ll add it here. I wrote this on January 9th:

Thanx, but I’ll pass

I decided to try Women's Ultra Mega Active Vitapak from GNC today. I took the pack about 11 am, I did not read the fine print about taking with food, I did eat about an hour later. By 2:30 my tummy wasn't feeling too well, but I figured things would all work out.

I felt very full. About 4:30 we went to get some movies and I started feeling a little worse so, as Dennis checked out, I went to sit in the car. Within a couple blocks of our house I was feeling kinda wonky. Not really dizzy but weird, and I felt a little nauseous. Pardon my giving of possibly too much information, but I thought I needed to use the restroom so I sat down, discovered no that I was going to throw up, grabbed the pitcher I rinse the dogs with and promptly vomited.

The next thing I remember I heard moaning, rather loud moaning and I wondered who was moaning then I realized it was me and I got quieter, then stopped. I opened my left eye and saw the beige rug that is next to the bathtub, I opened the other eye and saw the baseboard trim. I apparently did a face plant – ouch! I pushed myself up a little and discovered blood.

I thought I had given myself a bloody nose and I yelled, “Dennis!”, he was right outside the door (he had heard me fall) and came in immediately and helped me get up and clean up. We discovered the blood was coming from a gash in my lip. (I now have a lovely scar)

The vitapak is the only thing I did different today so I think the two are related. This is only the second time in my life I have ever passed out! The first was when I was a preteen and that time I saw black splotches then went limp and lost vision but could still hear. I felt it coming. This time I was up one moment and down the next, with no memory of the in between – scary!

I guess I really can't take anything for weight loss.  It bites that I have to do it all on my own.  But I'm terrified of passing out again.

I weighed in yesterday and have lost 11 pounds, so it’s working! Soon, I’ll look like this slim,sleek fellow. :)