I have this habit of doing what I call, thinking in circles. For instance, I start feeling pretty confident that all the little cancer cells are gone forever. I feel relieved that I will never again go through chemo and it's all behind me. Then I remind myself that I still need to go for my check ups. Before long, I am thinking, "What if they find something?", "I can't go through all that again.", "I don't want my family to be put through it all again.", "Maybe, I should just not go, do nothing and let things end quickly rather than drag my family through it again.", "But I feel good now, so I don't have to worry about that now.". . . then I'm back to thinking that I'm invincible. On and on these thoughts fly through my head. It's a vicious circle I have been in too many times to count.
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